depression

Darkness is more than the absence of light.

It’s a feeling of emptiness in oneself.

Words get caught in your throat,

leaving you unable to communicate the pain.

 

Darkness doesn’t come from the closing of eyes.

It’s not your inability to see that is lacking,

but what the world doesn’t see within you—

That invisible pain without an outward appearance.

 

Darkness is not the mere absence of windows

and there is no way to peer into someone’s soul.

No one can see the internal struggle you face.

All they see is the smile that masks that pain.

 

Darkness is not an appearance that one can see.

What your eyes do not witness can hurt worse—

Worse than any physical wound inflicted upon you.

Depression; the silent killer of the mind, body and soul.

Copyright © 2017 Taihair Brown

Bouquet of the Heart

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Find myself working for your love.

Giving this from my very soul.

To you, this gift will find its mark—

A love bouquet made of the heart.

 

For you, I would give up the world.

For you, I’d slay any dragon.

What I have in this very cart—

A love bouquet made of the heart.

 

Just to say I’d do anything,

I’d go to the biggest extremes.

This gift, please do not tear apart—

A love bouquet made of the heart.

Happy To Be Here

alive

I took my last breath, grasping for air.

Waking in a cold sweat, crying.

A recurring nightmare that returned—

One I thought I was long done with.

 

I try to run, but my legs wont work.

I try and scream, but my mouth…

My thoughts escape my mental,

replaced with fear and terror.

 

Death stalks me when I’m not awake.

They tell me that God has my back.

But I feel like I walk with the devil.

Yet my grandmother calls me an Angel.

 

If Angels once walked heaven,

before being cast out to hell—

Does that mean I am a forsaken son?

That would explain so many lows.

 

That knife that pierced through my flesh

when death came for me while I was awake.

A lonely bus stop mattress that left me cold

and my only company being the night sky.

 

When my health failed and stole love—

Or really, love left me to cry alone.

Death peaked in on me again,

reminding me that he was just a call away.

 

If they say that the devil loses,

then I must be the King of Hell.

More losses than a Cleveland team

and left with no more tears to share.

 

But I think of friends who didn’t make it.

Friend’s missing bothers, fathers and mothers.

A dear friend who died alone,

taking away the celebration of Christmas.

 

How can I bring in the holidays with her gone?

Walk down the street with his bloodstain?

Comfort them and convince them to live,

when the reason they’re alive is no longer here?

 

I remember every word they ever told me.

The strength that they gave me.

The prayers they gave, even if I don’t pray.

The ones who never gave up on me.

 

Knowing that life is just too short.

Though the ups and down,

through the sorrow and tears,

I am truly just happy to be here.

Don’t Shoot

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Dancing to the Devil under Gods sun.
Officer, please answer my cries and pleas.
No one will mourn for me is what they’ll think.
Terrified because you have a gun in my face.

Shaking, not because I’m a threat, but because of the threat.
How many tears must I shed before you notice my fear?
Officer, I just want to go home to my kids and kiss them goodnight.
Open your eyes and see my humanity, please.
Tell my family that I love them…
Copyright © 2016 Taihair Brown

Mythical Love

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If I walk amongst giants,

fly with the fairies,

and dance with the satyr,

would I grow fins

to swim with mermaids

or walk with the gods;

Wrestling the Minotaur

within Cyclops blind spot,

before the arguing Graeae,

to reach mythical proportions

like Jason or Achilles,

so shall I be worthy—

Proven like Heracles deeds,

To earn your love?

 

Copyright © 2016 Taihair Brown

My Favorite Dessert

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Honey crisp coffee cake sprinkled with brown sugar.

Candy apples drizzled with caramel, so sweet.

Jolly ranchers at the bottom of a cup of Kool-Aid.

A graham crusted Apple pie drenched in whip cream.

Devil’s food cake, buttercream frosting and sweet tea.

Pumpkin pie with some hot chocolate on the side.

Cheesecake with savory cherry drizzled throughout.

Red velvet cupcakes that melt in your mouth.

None of those compare to just how sweet your kiss is.

My favorite dessert is, and always will be, your lips.

 

Copyright © 2016 Taihair Brown

The Lonely Star

lonely star

A star once fell from the sky.

Far from its home, it cried.

Every night, it would look up high.

It missed the freedom it once had.

Sitting in an endless sea,

the universe was its playground.

Now earthbound, it was without—

Without the planets it called friends.

Without the beauty of passing meteors.

Always just out reach,

the star longed to be in the heavens.

On one cold and lonely night,

a man walked by the crying star.

He asked it, “what is wrong little star?”

“I wish to return amongst my kin.

Return to the endless sky,” came the star.

The man was not without sympathy or heart,

yet he was quite perplexed.

“Come little star, I shall carry you on my back.”

And so he did, leaving with the star.

Happy not to be alone, but still saddened.

Not being able to view the vast universe,

he still wished to be in the sky.

The man carried the star up the tallest mountain.

“Here little star, view the vast world.”

And so the star as the man asked.

Off of the mans back, through weary eyes,

the star was amazed at what he saw.

Birds soaring freely over the peak.

A world, alive and moving just below.

Looking up to the sky he had longed for,

Shooting stars raced across the blue.

For the first time since his fall,

he could see the sky so clearly.

Tears began to fall from the star.

The man saw this and asked,

“Why do you still cry little star?”

The star looked to the man, smiling—

“I have known such beauty in life

and I believed there could be no other.

On the surface here, I saw an ugly world.

You, one who has never soared the universe,

showed me pity and gave me a new life.

From here, I can see a living world.

Birds fly high through a clear sky.

Clouds moving at their own carefree pace.

The rising moon and the sinking horizon sun.

Below, living things moving about.

Life growing and dying, then being reborn.

A cold air, bringing different smells of the season.

Here, I feel connected to the world as a whole.”

Together they sat, observing the world.

Eventually the man would leave,

but the star no longer felt any sadness.

Up over, in the sky above, sits a once lonely star.

On the tallest mountain, it watches from afar.

No longer does it reach for the sky.

Earthbound, but no longer feeling chained,

a star watches over the world it calls home.

 

Copyright © 2016 Taihair Brown