Broken

bos

She is still broken into parts,

but there is nowhere to hide.

Both her mind and her heart,

were crushed ‘fore I came.

She tries to run, she tries to hide—

Pushing me away at times,

even when I reach out to help.

So astonishingly beautiful,

yet so severely damaged within.

He lived only to serve himself,

leaving her just an empty shell.

I swear my love to her to be pure—

Can my words really be true?

I see it all in her tender eyes—

Wondering to herself in silence,

if I will repeat his mistakes.

I want to glue her pieces back,

but she looks right through me—

“Don’t ever think you know me,”

she says in frustration, and yet…

I stay by her side through the storm.

My heart carries zero doubt.

Together, we will repair her heart.

 

©2017 Taihair Brown

depression

Darkness is more than the absence of light.

It’s a feeling of emptiness in oneself.

Words get caught in your throat,

leaving you unable to communicate the pain.

 

Darkness doesn’t come from the closing of eyes.

It’s not your inability to see that is lacking,

but what the world doesn’t see within you—

That invisible pain without an outward appearance.

 

Darkness is not the mere absence of windows

and there is no way to peer into someone’s soul.

No one can see the internal struggle you face.

All they see is the smile that masks that pain.

 

Darkness is not an appearance that one can see.

What your eyes do not witness can hurt worse—

Worse than any physical wound inflicted upon you.

Depression; the silent killer of the mind, body and soul.

Copyright © 2017 Taihair Brown

Happy To Be Here

alive

I took my last breath, grasping for air.

Waking in a cold sweat, crying.

A recurring nightmare that returned—

One I thought I was long done with.

 

I try to run, but my legs wont work.

I try and scream, but my mouth…

My thoughts escape my mental,

replaced with fear and terror.

 

Death stalks me when I’m not awake.

They tell me that God has my back.

But I feel like I walk with the devil.

Yet my grandmother calls me an Angel.

 

If Angels once walked heaven,

before being cast out to hell—

Does that mean I am a forsaken son?

That would explain so many lows.

 

That knife that pierced through my flesh

when death came for me while I was awake.

A lonely bus stop mattress that left me cold

and my only company being the night sky.

 

When my health failed and stole love—

Or really, love left me to cry alone.

Death peaked in on me again,

reminding me that he was just a call away.

 

If they say that the devil loses,

then I must be the King of Hell.

More losses than a Cleveland team

and left with no more tears to share.

 

But I think of friends who didn’t make it.

Friend’s missing bothers, fathers and mothers.

A dear friend who died alone,

taking away the celebration of Christmas.

 

How can I bring in the holidays with her gone?

Walk down the street with his bloodstain?

Comfort them and convince them to live,

when the reason they’re alive is no longer here?

 

I remember every word they ever told me.

The strength that they gave me.

The prayers they gave, even if I don’t pray.

The ones who never gave up on me.

 

Knowing that life is just too short.

Though the ups and down,

through the sorrow and tears,

I am truly just happy to be here.

Sleep

Hanging on to one word, 
	trying to remember the poem as you heard
Recited over a thousand times,
	in your mind to thyself 
Now you sit restless trying to find-
	Find that last word on the tip of your mind
Over yonder thy lady rest,
	unable to share her dreams with thee
Fight and fight if you must,
	unable to feel the touch of sandman’s dust
Oh love how she sleeps,
	not an echo nor a snore
You would join her in her play,
	‘cept for the block in your way
It escapes you as you near-
	Searching for that majestic dragon
The pen is your grand sword
	Slashing through a forest of words.
Penning your grand quest,
	whilst wishing amongst the stars
Hoping to finally face your foe-
	to be done with the poem you wrote
Sleep ever mocking you so,
	echoing that you shall not pass
You place the pen to and thro’
	drawing the horn of a triumphant blow
A stanza of victims,
	may rest at your feet 
Finding a friend that had never left.
	So now you may end your quest
Your tomb awaits,
	crying out victory at last
Your victory immortal,
	but only as long as the mind stays fertile

©2012 Taihair Brown

Letter to the World

Thinking back to when I was conceived

Parents happy for the blessing they received

Unaware of the future misery I’d face

Trying to find a way to stay warm in a cold place

A world made to slowly kill a child
Hate stretching shore to shore for a miles

A world unaware of the pain it can cause

Continue to turn without pause

Not even a slow down in rotation

So I ran wild, ducking laws and probation

I plead guilty to being a child of fate

Born hollow and passed an empty plate

Should I be punished for this life given?

One I never asked for, an open prison

Don’t mistake it, I’m not complaining

Just writing this letter contemplating

Hoping that you’ll one day understand

That even though I fell, I tried to stand

Dear lord can you hear me?

I’m writing to the world from this dark sea

Hoping they won’t let another seed drown

Not another youth to die without a sound

No voice to scream out for help

Unable to ease the terrible pain I felt

There’s no need to trade places

Just embrace the youth easing their hatred

Let them feel love in the form of hugs

Lending a hand when they feel evils tug

Writing this letter to the world on my knees

Begging it to not sacrifice any more seeds

Copyright ©2012 Taihair Brown

Brothers

We used to be close friends, ride or die

That was our motto, homies for life

Not knowing what the future held

We just knew to have each other’s back

Dreams of making it out this poison

Cement cemetery that we called home

Seen it devour even the strongest of men

But we knew we’d be okay

Brothers from different mothers

Side by side trying to survive

Staying up late talking about dreams

No doctors or President dreams or thoughts

Just live long enough to get out the hood

Walking home from school

Laughing and cracking jokes

Trying to holler at the sultry cuties

Soldiers of a kind in a mad mans world

Needed nothing as long as we had us

Brothers in the struggle

I had his back and he had mines

But there’s a twist to every tale

But still, how did it get like this?

Standing over his cold body

Gun smoking from the rounds fired

Feels as if it’s my soul seeping out

Leaving alongside my humanity

Looking down on the empty vessel

Blood spilling out

The surprise in his eyes tells a tale

My brother in arms gone in a flash

Am I the hero or the villain?

Did I save his soul from this prison?

Or did I slay my only friend?

Falling victim to the poison here

I opened fire and his body dropped

Hard to Get

Wait, I had to retrace my steps

Couldn’t handle the hand I was dealt

You were playing hard to get

Wouldn’t give me the time of day

Corny lines didn’t even get a giggle

Would it be love at first sight?

Would that catch your attention?

Baby wait, come on now wait

Okay, I won’t call you baby again

But can we just talk a little

I promise you won’t be disappointed

I’m not looking for a booty call

I just want to be able to call

Maybe cook you a little dinner

Sing you a couple of love songs

Though I really can’t sing at all

Oh see, I think I saw a smile

All men are alike?

How can you say that?

You haven’t even gotten to know me

I promise I can change your mind

If not, I’ll cut off my right arm

Now I got you laughing

Now how about we get some coffee

No need to play hard to get

Copyright ©2012 Taihair Brown