Only God Knows

Only God knows

They say life goes on, but you’re not here?

My grandmother tells me that only God knows;

so I want to see that man and ask him why.

I’m upset and your memories are with me still.

I didn’t even get to see you out or say goodbye.

I’m left asking why, but only God knows.

Seeking a response but my calls go unanswered.

They tell me that I have to move on,

but I’ll never get a call or visit from you again.

I go to your home, but you’re not there.

Knock on the door for days, but no one comes out.

Why did you have to leave me here alone?

I will never hear you laugh again.

Never come to you for advice in the dead of night.

Never laugh at your attempts to dance or be smooth.

Why did a true friend have to end up gone?

Only God knows.

 

©2017 Taihair Brown

Hope for a Heaven

heaven

What’s a non-religious man to do

if he doesn’t believe in heaven,

but he sees a cruel world that is sick?

So many deaths since last May.

So much hate poisoning what’s on my plate.

There has to be something better than this.

If heaven exists….

May it exist so there’s something better.

Something better than this place.

They say that hell is a real place.

Can it really be worse than this?

War, racism, sexism and greed.

For our sake, I hope there is a heaven.

Is it real?
It’s hard so say now when living in hell.

What’s a non-religious man to do?

Try and be strong,

but you aren’t trying to hear me.

You have church in the morning—

This after you stomped a dude at the club.

Just the day before, a kid lost his life.

Makes a non-religious hope for a heaven

cause there’s got to be a better place than this.

 

Copyright © 2016 Taihair Brown

Gods Voicemail

1st new message

I got up, decided to give you a call this morning

Up and yawning but in mourning

Missing my little brother, that’s what got me calling

I know we haven’t talked since my falling

But I decided to call anyway, hoping you’d answer

Maybe you can quell these questions moving like a dancer

Twisting in my mind, each and every way I see

I know I’m your seed, but I’m lost in this endless sea

Struggling, trying to swim without drowning

Water churns, holding my breath counting

How long can I hold it before I slip and fall into a dark void?

Shadows around every corner in my life some evil employed

Yet I try and live properly but cannot shake ill feelings

So I make this call hoping that it is not too late to start the healing

But if something were to happen to me before we can again talk

I hope you’d forgive me for the path that I have walked

 

Next message

I’m calling you in the late hour cause that’s the only time I feel alive

When I’m not ready to die, yet I still cry

But these tears hide on the inside

Covering these invisible scars I try and hide

Life’s lesson pulling me in different directions

I’m a mere peasant incapable of making the proper course corrections

That would explain my loss and lack of a path to walk

And so here I am giving you a ring, hoping we could talk

But a fury sleeps deep within that promise’s to devour me

It keeps me awake a night for I fear the dreams in my sleep

Yet I feel alive in the darkness and empty void, breathing in its air

The daylight brings sorrow worse than the scariest nightmare

So if sleep is the cousin of death and darkness, the evils grip on life

Then the lying awake in the light is the glare from the reapers scythe

Pardon the anger in the tone of my voice

I needed to make this call because I’m feeling the lack of choice

But if this anger keeps us, again, from talking

I hope you’d forgive me for this path that I have walked

©2013 Taihair Brown

 

voicemail-messages

Holy City

Trumpets blare from the Angles horn

Fires burn in the holy land

Peaceful images of heaven betray the scenery

Surrounded by the screams of sinners

A merciful god boils the flesh

A sea of fire under heavens light

Angel’s holy judgment is swift on this night

Under the eyes of heaven with peace in the sky

The city burns on this holy night

The Serpent

I am the serpent that devoured eternity

Stained the flesh and tainted the mind

Gave rise to toil and soured the fruit

I placed a thorn between the two

Crippled the sky and earth below

Banished the guardians from their temple

And birthed a sword of flames in their path

I gave rise to the mind

I birthed knowledge its self

Stroked your image and made you naked

You are what you are

And you have me to thank

I would say you’re welcome

But you already know

I am the serpent that gave you what you seek

I quelled your thirst

But in turn, left you hungry

I delivered upon you the world

I am the serpent

Your gift and your curse

Copyright ©2012 Taihair Brown

Convesations p.II; Conversation with the Forsaken One

Man: You are the embodiment of all evil!
The One: I am what my Father created, same as you people.
Man: How can you even compare..
The One: HOLD YOUR TONGUE AND DON’T EVEN DARE!!
You overestimate your own significance.
Speaking on things you could never witness
Man: How could you go against fathers intentions?
The One: Who are you to speak on Fathers intentions.
Man: Who are you to call him Father!
The One: To you on Earth, a mere gardener,
I am the original son,
Born with his gift under one.
Man: Then how could you hate him so?
The One: Your arrogance blinds you, you know.
Man: What??
The One: Your ignorance insults my intelligence. 
Told you before, I am Fathers son. I am Heaven sent.
Man: Then explain yourself spawn of hell!!
The One: Watch your tongue for no one will hear you yell.
You arrogant creatures killed his son.
You curse him under his own sun,
Asking for handouts, yet never give anything in return.
You take his holy symbol and light it to burn.
Man: We are made in his image, but we are not perfect.
The One: No, you’re not and with time, you will worsen.
You destroy his planet and murder Fathers creatures.
Man: We grow and expand. It’s all his features.
The One: Ignorant fool knows not what Father goes through.
Man: Then why do you hate him so?
The One: Idiot! For I can not hate my Father—
I love thy Father, even when he moves away farther.
But yet he chose you!!!
You ungrateful forms, diseased flu!!!
Man: So that’s why you hate…
The One: NO!!!!!!
I HATE YOU PUSS FILLED ORGANS, FEEDING OFF FATHERS PLATE…
Parasites, the lot of you draining the life,
piece by piece you cut him like a knife.
Man: We would never for we also love God.
The One: Then why are you filled with greed, murder, steal and rob—
And yet, you blame me
Man: You are the presence of all evil flowing like an eternal stream.
The One: In that, you are wrong. Evil pre-dates all beings.
To it, all beings of life wouldn’t even be teens.
Man: If that’s true then, is Father evil?
The One: He is Good and evil, the embodiment of all things, strong and feeble.
Man: I find what you say hard to believe.
The One: I care not. It’s another want of your greed.
You want to be right and true.
Man: And how about you?
The One: I am me and here is where I will be.
Man: You are the devil who’s words I can not trust you see.
The One: As you wish, but I’ll be watching from the shadows.
Like a vampire, when you slip, I’ll add your soul to the battle.
Man: No you won’t for I’ll be in heaven, that’s my fate!
The One: Then I’ll see you there, with a sneer, at the gates….

Copyright©2010 Robert Brown

Conversations p.I: A Conversation With Father

Son: Father, have you forgotten and forsaken us
Father: No my son for I have always been there
Son: How can you say that for I’ve only seen you just now?
Father: For what I have created what you call up, is down
Son: Wait, what???
Father: Heaven is Earth and Earth is Heaven
You have everything you’ve ever wanted and needed
Son: How can you say that when I’ve been homeless, left for dead bleeding!
Many have died in your name
Father: For I have given you free will, the same
Lack of perfection for you to make mistakes
Son: Well why haven’t you eliminated evil from our plates?
Father: For without darkness there can be no light
So without evil, there can be no good
Son: But the stories I hear about your legacy…..
Father: Man creates as he see’s fit
Sheep need a herder for in times of chaos they need guidance and hope
Son: Yeah yeah yeah, so you seem to have all the answers when there’s no water to float but..
Father: I have given free will so man may chose his own path and fear not punishment
Judge thy self, by thy’s own soul shall be a lot harsher than anything I will
Son: But what shall become of man still?
Father: That is for man to decide
To be his own savior or grim reaper
Son: Why don’t you intervene instead of letting them fall deeper?
Father: That is not my place for I am just the watcher of things past and to come
Son: So you do not create futures but watch them happen as we go to and from
Father: You are correct my son
Son: Are you responsible for the moon and the sun?
Father: There is always a beginning and I let life take over after that
Son: Wait, that doesn’t answer my question
Father: But what would you seek if I told you everything
Son: I guess you are right
Father: Right and wrong are a matter of perspective like you prefer day or night
Son: ?????
Father: In due time you’ll understand
Son: Ok father, but will you leave me again?
Father: I will always be here watching you see
Son: Okay farewell, but what if I have more question’s?
Father: Seek your own answer’s to gain your own accession

 

Copyright ©2010 Robert Brown