Twas the Night Santa Snapped

On this Christmas, Santa did snap.

He climbed down the chimney and went on the attack.

Under the mistletoe he blew blowtorch kisses.

On this day Santa granted no Christmas wishes.

His jolly laugh turned to one so sour—

No one was safe from his murderous Christmas power.

With every ho ho ho, cries and whimpers—

Torn ligaments and severed torsos from his victims.

His belly jiggled like a bowl of jelly,

All while he sliced flesh like a butcher’s deli.

His eyes, oh how they twinkled with murderous glee.

On this night when sleigh bells jingle, it’s best to flee.

Children cried, not of joy from wondrous toys,

Waking up to find their parents trampled by Santa’s Reindeer convoy.

Ole Jolly Saint Nick was now more than a prick—

A murderous dick with a knife that did more than just prick.

9 malevolent Reindeer pulled his blood red sleigh.

On this Christmas night, plenty he did slay.

©2013 Taihair Brown